It was the summer of 1983 and I had landed an enviable job. Not just anybody was hired at Cattleman’s on the Redondo Beach Pier. Early in my shift one night, the busboy asked me if I wanted to chill with him at a neighboring bar later. He was cute. I totally wanted to go and so I blurted out “Sure.” I didn’t realize I had gotten myself into a mess until he walked away. Here’s the thing: I don’t drink (at least not the type of beverage he had proposed) and I was only nineteen (not even of legal drinking age). How was I supposed to bring all that to light? After all, there had never been anyone to tell. All the guys I ever hung out with already knew. How does one reveal this information and still maintain their coolness? |
I would have to think of a way pretty quickly. During the rest of our shift, I tried to casually slip it into the conversation that I would only be having a soft drink, but the words never formed. They sat there congealed in my throat.
Walking the short distance to the local bar, I still hadn’t figured out how to tell him and not be thought of as a geek. Luckily for me, he had no manners and when the waitress appeared, he ordered first. “Long Island Iced Tea” he blurted out.
My mind screamed “Totally Awesome!” as a wave of relief washed over me. This guy didn’t drink alcohol either and so the dreaded topic never had to come up.
What the heck I thought, a little caffeine isn’t ‘gonna kill me. So I enthusiastically replied “I’ll have the same.”
When the iced teas arrived, I opened two packs of sugar and dumped them in my tall, lemon-wedged glass. For that, I received a really strange look as he slowly sipped. I, on the other hand, was really thirsty and gulped my first one down. He asked with a smile if I’d like another, and I nodded in the affirmative. He flagged the waitress.
By this time, I was carrying the conversation. And why couldn’t I stop giggling? I wondered. After about half way through my second glass I became suspicious, so I questioned what the heck they put in these iced teas.
My date confirmed my worst nightmare, “Oh, the usual - equal parts of vodka, rum, tequila, gin and triple sec, with just a shot of Coca-Cola for coloring.”
“NO” I wailed and laughed simultaneously. “I don’t drink alcohol. I thought this was simply iced tea!”
Needless to say, he never invited me out again. The good news is, I learned to be much bolder about my standards from the get go.
Walking the short distance to the local bar, I still hadn’t figured out how to tell him and not be thought of as a geek. Luckily for me, he had no manners and when the waitress appeared, he ordered first. “Long Island Iced Tea” he blurted out.
My mind screamed “Totally Awesome!” as a wave of relief washed over me. This guy didn’t drink alcohol either and so the dreaded topic never had to come up.
What the heck I thought, a little caffeine isn’t ‘gonna kill me. So I enthusiastically replied “I’ll have the same.”
When the iced teas arrived, I opened two packs of sugar and dumped them in my tall, lemon-wedged glass. For that, I received a really strange look as he slowly sipped. I, on the other hand, was really thirsty and gulped my first one down. He asked with a smile if I’d like another, and I nodded in the affirmative. He flagged the waitress.
By this time, I was carrying the conversation. And why couldn’t I stop giggling? I wondered. After about half way through my second glass I became suspicious, so I questioned what the heck they put in these iced teas.
My date confirmed my worst nightmare, “Oh, the usual - equal parts of vodka, rum, tequila, gin and triple sec, with just a shot of Coca-Cola for coloring.”
“NO” I wailed and laughed simultaneously. “I don’t drink alcohol. I thought this was simply iced tea!”
Needless to say, he never invited me out again. The good news is, I learned to be much bolder about my standards from the get go.